Mimi’s Corner: What’s in a Name?

“What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” So sayeth Shakespeare through the lips of Juliet, bemoaning the fact that Romeo’s last name, Montague, condemns their romance. If he had been Romeo Smith, Jones, MacGillicuddy, or even, ahem, Fisher, he could have been an acceptable candidate to ask for her hand. 

Actually, maybe that’s not true. The name “Romeo MacGillicuddy” may have made Juliet giggle rather than swoon. The name surely would have been added to my personal List of Funny Names had I come across it.

I began keeping this list of names decades ago: names made me smile, giggle or burst out laughing. Some names were spotted in magazines or newspapers; others were suggested by friends. Now, if one of these names is yours or your friend’s, I apologize for finding humor in it. I mean no offense. My own last name, Fisher, made me the butt of many childhood jokes. “Fishy” and “Fish-face” were just a few of the names my playmates called me.

My List of Funny Names now lives in a framed picture that my talented graphic designer daughter created for me as a gift. Drawing on her creativity, she used at least 50 fonts of multiple sizes and oodles of colors to get nearly 100 names, right and left justified, on an 8x10 piece of paper. It is a prized possession.

Here are a few of the best.

Effie Flakes and Freddie Frecker are at the starting line with Heeber Hipple and Ossie Occasio on the right. On the left, we find Tillie Rump next to Margery Ready First and Ruth Pinches Finch. Marsha Harsha lies next to Steven Evenheimer with Lil Lovey Dove following. Approaching second comes Mia Mayo (with Colonel Mustard nowhere to be found!), Tonya Tinka, and Phoebe Priebe close behind. Flossie Fudge is next to Patches Bambi Smith and her daughter Summertime, with Merlin Fondong and Moody and Effie Belle Lamb at the rear. 

Halfway down we find Phew Ice and Nancy Ancey, Ron Rhonomus (a personal favorite—I love to say RRRon RRRhonomus!), and Since Wynn. Mollie Wollie and Virginia Ham share some space with Callie Sallee, and Gurney and Creet Moody, who are leading Garth and Zooma Jester and Billi Balibid by a nose. Chiquita Sixberry and Fanny Fullove are barely ahead of June May March (is there a sister April?) and Mactilda Kamildy, who is keeping her distance from Betty Passwater! Fannie Glotz sounds like a name from the Carole Burnett Show but nevertheless finds a spot on my list next to Verna Mae Snapper and Duckworth Byrd. Oops—almost forgot Betty Bumbalough and Jim Titsworth!

Getting close to the end, we can’t omit Arlie Alcorn, Della Ditty, Bunny Ouch, Dan D. Weiner, and Merry Tydings, followed by Gaston Pigman and Nancy Pigg Bacon, who really should have been up on the list with Virginia Ham. Not to be forgotten, there’s Amy Cornsweet, Rita Deeter, Misty Showers, Fannie Fullove, the memorable Forty Three Ford, and Catherine Dusterdick! Last but not least, my numero uno… Tondalea Schwartzkopf!

There you have it—most of the names on my list. I should note that my dear great grandmother, Lula Belle Mier, named her children McKinley Cloren, Dewey Hastings, Alta Aldeen, and Fairy Itlus Mier. Whew! I was lucky!