Table Salt: Giving and receiving

A couple we met at church have become sweet friends of our family. Skip and Carolyn are nearing 60 years of marriage. They love to tell the story of the first Christmas they spent together. 

The young groom was beaming with pride, sure he had things completely under control. With his bride’s birthday only about a week before Christmas, he was determined to set the bar high right from the start. With logical thinking, from a man’s point of view, he decided to prepare a few packages and place them under the tree for his new wife. Planning ahead, he really felt confident! 

When her birthday rolled around on the 18th of the month, Skip smiled as he pointed to the presents under the tree. “Go ahead and pick out one of those packages, and we will call it your birthday present. Leave the others for Christmas.” Needless to say, that was the first and last year he took that approach.

It didn’t sit well with the birthday girl. Understandably so, she wanted her birthday and Christmas to hold their own special and separate celebrations. While Skip felt he was really on the ball to cover both of the occasions, the outcome wasn’t what he had expected. We all have different expectations of what things should look like and how they should play out. Years later, Carolyn can laugh at Skip attempting to pull off the two-for-one gift. 

When the next Christmas came, Carolyn went ahead and gave Skip the plan. 

“You are going to give me a present that I pick out and you buy me. He didn’t argue with me.” 

Over the years, Skip has learned to navigate what works best for his wife, and in return, Carolyn has humbled herself to understand Skip’s ways and be more accepting of them. 

We often give gifts based on what we think someone wants or needs. A simple conversation can help us know what someone truly desires and help needs to be met. Sometimes, we think we know what we need, but God has something different in store. 

Asking God for circumstances to change or situations to come to fruition might be what we think is best as humans. Giving God the space to deliver packages to us as He sees fit brings an incredible gift that can only come from our Heavenly Father. 

Skip wrapped up what he thought his new wife would like. His delivery was rocky, and his new marriage learned a quick lesson in communication. As the couple has grown together over the years, the gifts look a little different.

It’s not what is under the tree or what day your birthday falls on. The true gifts can be found in waiting for God to arrive and meet all of our needs. We want things to unfold just how we picture them, but God comes bearing gifts we didn’t even know we needed. 

Now, 58 years later, Carolyn suggested he get her concert tickets as a combined gift for her birthday and Christmas. They shared a wonderful evening together. The gift wasn’t found under the tree or in a birthday card. The gift was found in the presence of one another. 

Christmas doesn’t come just once a year but lives in places of humility, forgiveness, mercy, grace, and growth. Skip and Carolyn deliver gifts through their personal relationship with God. The true gifts are found in listening to the needs and wants of everyone in our lives. Not giving gifts out of our desire but out of a genuine love for the needs of others. 

Just this week, when Carolyn was picking out a new purse, Skip told her the one she grabbed was too big and would be too heavy. Carolyn shrugged at his words but felt the Lord tell her to consider what Skip was saying. She looked at the purse he suggested and decided to get it. When they got home, and she organized her items into the new purse, she proclaimed, “It’s perfect.” It wasn’t too big, and the things she needed fit just right. 

“I need to start listening to Skip more.” the bride told me. Christmas isn’t about the perfect gifts or perfect timing; it’s about waiting on the Lord and listening for Him to move in our lives all year long. 

Proverbs 19:20: "Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.” 

Contact Ashley at ashley@tippgazette.com

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Tippecanoe Gazette

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Tipp City, Ohio 45371