When my grandparents were living, I talked to them daily. Sometimes, it was for a reason, and other times, it was for no reason at all. They had a phone mounted on the wall in the kitchen, a coiled cord attached. With no caller ID, every ring surprised them. Each phone call guaranteed that my grandpa would instantly mute the television so he could hear what was being said in the telephone conversation.

One evening, after dark, I phoned my grandparents and we chatted. After the call, I thought of one more thing to say, so I quickly dialed the number, not waiting to hear if I had a dial tone yet. When I held the phone up to my ear, I could hear my grandparents talking and regular household noises. I spoke into the receiver calling, “Hello, grandma.” They didn’t hear me, but I could hear them talking about their evening routine. Louder, I called out, “Hello, I’m on the phone. Grandma.” With no response, I yelled out louder and louder through the handset. At this point, I felt certain their phone had not been hung up correctly.

The line had been left open, but the phone never rang on their end, so they didn’t know I was trying to reach them again. I decided to drive over to their house, which was only a mile down the road. I knew if the phone weren’t hung up, they wouldn’t be able to receive other phone calls. When I pulled in after dark, my headlights brought my grandparents right to the window. Upon entering and explaining that I could hear them talking and moving around their home, but they couldn’t hear me, we checked the phone. Sure enough, it was hanging on the wall but the plunger on the phone was not pressed down enough to reset the phone line after our call.

My grandparents were thankful I came by to ensure their phone was working properly. They laughed after I explained that I was screaming through the phone to get their attention. My approach to getting louder and louder didn’t work, but when I came alongside them, and together we reset the phone, we were successful.

Often, we use the same tactics in relationships. When something isn’t working right and the connection isn't clear, frustration and anger surface. We might raise our voices, storm off, or cast judgment. Getting louder and expelling harsh reactions truly won’t solve anything. Coming alongside someone for a healthy conversation creates a clear connection. Sometimes, we all need to be reset. Being slow to act and slow to anger are actions Jesus makes clear what He wants for us in the book of James. It isn’t our job to shout out our desires for other people's lives. Showing up for others, helping them if they want the support, and loving people right where they are is extending the grace and mercy we are called to give.

When your line is tied up, the conversation is one-sided, and the connection isn’t clear, pause and give the situation space. Through prayer, ask God what your role is. Through my attempt to get my grandparent's phone back online, I learned that they couldn't hear my voice no matter how loud I got through the phone line. It was through showing up with a loving heart to make the reconnect happen that the reset took place. It isn’t through words but through actions where God’s love rings true. 

“God who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works, but because of His own purpose and grace.” 2 Timothy 1:9.

Contact Ashley at ashley@tippgazette.com

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Tippecanoe Gazette

Attn: Ashley Spring McCarroll

PO Box 84

Tipp City, Ohio 45371